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Six Weeks

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Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Six weeks…. It seems like such a short time to get an entire house packed and moved with two small kids. Not to mention the prep involved in moving to a piece of land with no house on it– the planning for what we will need, ordering supplies, making arrangements. We are having such a difficult time getting motivated. It doesn’t feel real. It feels overwhelming. We prayed and prayed for God’s direction in our lives. We prayed for God to show us where he wanted us to be– if he wanted us to be in Minnesota, we prayed for him to have the house sell and to make the transition easy. This is what we have always wanted. For some reason, though, we both feel very strange about leaving. We are leaving a place that we were never sure we wanted to be in the first place. We are leaving a place that we complained about and never felt like we belonged in. Now that we are leaving, we feel sad. This is where both of our kids were born. This is where we both became stronger in our faith and learned how to put down roots, ask people for help, find forever friendships, and be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We have an awesome church family. We also prayed for God to make his will known. So we listed our house and got two offers with three showings. We are in a contract, and the house is going to sell. It happened at the right time for us to be able to move to our land and take advantage of the summer to build our little cabin and camp with the kids while we build. It happened so that we have enough time to work out the details of the move and make a trip to my parents to store some things. It happened in just the right way, and I have nothing to complain about. But here we are, with six weeks left, feeling sad, feeling conflicted, and feeling frozen. I should be packing. I should be making phone calls. I should be planning. I should be excited! Deep down, I am scared. It feels weird to be leaving here after five years and going somewhere to start all over again. It feels scary. Of course, I know that God often asks us to do things that we don’t want to do, things that are scary and make us nervous. This is how we grow.

So tomorrow, I will begin packing……but there is definitely a piece of my heart that will remain here with the many people who have been such a pivotal part of our growth. Thanks to each and every one of you (you know who you are!!). You will be deeply missed. Perhaps a goat or a chicken will bear your name on a Minnesota farm in the near future!! In the meantime, I will continue to look to God to guide us in this journey and adventure and know that we will be where we are supposed to be!

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Mother’s Day with a Side of Poo

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So, before I had children, I always thought I had this whole Mother’s Day thing down. I go out, buy a card, or chocolates, or flowers- some visual reminder to my mother that I think she is wonderful and I want her to remember how much she has given me and how thankful I am for all of her undeserving, unending love…… Then I became a mom.

I really do not remember either my first or my second Mother’s Day- but this year will not easily be forgotten! I woke up this morning at the usual Early ‘o’ Clock and made some french toast for boy number one. Boy number two had a mid-morning nap while we ate our french toast and drank our smoothies. I was able to trade with my husband at around 9:00am and take a nap while he hung out with the three-year-old. The rest of the day went pretty much the same as every other day- there were no noteworthy special events to remind me that this was in fact, a day to celebrate mothers. The afternoon was hot and we decided to put the pool up in the backyard. While it was filling, my husband and son splashed around and had a grand old time. Our son, for the first time in his almost three years, decided he would finally try to pee somewhere besides a diaper. Him and my husband stood side by side in the back yard, aiming at flowers. This was a monumental event and really was a wonderful gift for Mother’s Day- less diapers in my life will always be a good thing. He nodded in serious understanding while we explained to him the importance of trying again before going inside. I was just getting the hot dogs ready for the grill and the baby was beginning to fuss when the boy came walking around the corner with poo dripping down his legs. Awesome…….. Apparently, he decided to take a poo in the garage. And so why am I bummed about changing diapers? Bring on the diapers, I think to myself as I am scrubbing crusty poo off his legs. So the veggies got overcooked, the baby screamed for 15 minutes, and my husband ended up with a pile ‘o’ poo on his shop floor.

At the end of the day, when I am supposed to be reflecting, I guess, on this whole Mother’s Day thing, I am thinking how really sweet this day has been. It has been chaos, it has been screaming, it has been laughing, and playing, and napping, and peeing on flowers, eating hot dogs, cleaning ketchup off chins, time-outs, discovering new things, and to sum it all up, a pile of poo on the floor.

Isn’t that really what this Motherhood thing really is? It stinks sometimes. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It challenges me in ways that I never imagined and makes me see all of my faults, all of my flaws. It makes my heart melt to see how they look at me anyway, how they love me anyway, how they accept me no matter what I say or do or whether or not I deserve it. It makes my days rich to see all of the things they learn and makes my senses full to experience things as they do. And when it is all said and done, sometimes it just all comes down to a big pile ‘o’ poo to make me see all the wonders of being a mom……………

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